What’s this about anyway?
Society has assigned us a timeline and the pressure is too much. The clock is ticking so I figured out my life and I did it quick - I mean really quick. At 25, I had two dogs, a fiancé, a house, cars and a career. Oh, and I shouldn’t forget to mention me developing a wild drinking problem – oops!
On paper I was exceeding in every bucket for where I ‘‘should’’ have been at that time. How is it that I found myself in this situation and why was I not actually happy or fulfilled? I like to think it is because I’m a fucking human and we all make choices – some good, some not so good. But I know now that it is actually because I had too many expectations for my life. We expect to find love too soon, we expect to have children in our 20’s, we expect to figure out everything way to friggin early. And we also have this idea that happiness is an island and once we achieve everything in the journey to that island, it is guaranteed fulfillment. Talk about a plot twist on that theory, the more I seemed to achieve in my journey to the happiness island, the more miserable I became.
So now what does it mean when you turn 28 and you don’t have ‘your’ person? You don’t have two kids that look up to you and convince you how cool you are. There is no more house and there are no dogs to pet. It means it’s time to address codependency. It means it’s time to reset or better yet, eliminate life expectations and face your current reality. Hold yourself accountable for developing a true self esteem by finding it within, not through jobs, houses, relationships or things.
Just so you know what you can expect, my initial goal for this blog is to honestly just find a damn hobby that doesn’t involve bars, restaurants or dating. If you know me, you also know I have a lot to say - often. If you don’t know me, I hope you get to learn about me through this blog where I will address with 100% vulnerability all the carried shame of being molested as a child and then the process of convicting the abuser 16 years later. I will address the stigma around men who struggle with mental health and also the impact it has on loved ones when you are not mentally stable - spoiler alert, it’s significant. I will share my personal insight on what it’s like to finally check into rehab to address childhood trauma and addiction. But above all, I hope to create a space for dialogue around topics that most people avoid. If you’ve made it this far, thanks for your interest and know there is A LOT more to come. Also, I don’t want to end with out reminding you that you matter and you are enough to overcome anything.
-Austin
